Writers Block

I'm back.  I know I don't have legions of fans hanging on my every word but I'd like to think that there might be someone out there that looks forward to my posts.  Where was I?  Surely there has been plenty to write about...like pain after all, this is a fibromyalgia blog.  I can't because of writers block.  I have recently had devastating news in my life that has turned my world upside down and I'm trying to deal with it the best I can.  My blog, usually my outlet for expressing my emotions and feelings, has become more of an encumbrance.  How can I write about FM pain when the emotional pain I'm in far exceeds any recorded pain in all my years of struggle?  Each time I have attempted to write my neurons protested in rebellion thus my hands wouldn't move.   You can lead the horse to water but you can't make it drink!   Since this past week was Thanksgiving there was plenty to write about but each time I talked myself out of it; "that's insignificant", "too boring", "too personal," I'm starting to relate to Goldilocks.

What happens when someone you love isn't the person you thought they were?  A lifetime of a lie bubbles to life erupting years later -- the devastation unimaginable.  They say "to err is human and to forgive divine" but how do you forget?  This is my challenge and my burden -- forgive and forget or just don't get sick at the thought of them.  Can I say that?  Thus, my personal struggle continues breaking my silence for now.