Timing

The biggest disappointment in my life is not marrying and having children.  It's not like I chose not to I just never had the opportunity.  I saw others in my life in relationships that were less than happy and I swore I would never settle.  Sure I could've settled years ago just to be in an unhappy marriage or to have a child but I want a happy marriage with a man that will be a good father and roll model for my children.  Years ago I found a poem that I hold dear to my heart that explains it all:

"Coaching the Universe"
I shout directions
To whoever is in charge,
As knowledgeably
As my own little
Backseat driver,
Age 3.

Carol Lynn Pearson from Beginnings

 I love this poignant poem because don't we all shout directions to God about the timing of our lives? Do we really believe we know what's best for us when we are His young children and He is the great Creator?  I recently bought a bracelet that I engraved, "Trust the timing of your life". I had to because it gets me down.  We all have plans for our lives and we tell Heavenly Father which way we want our lives to go.  How many of you are where you thought you'd be?  If you are where you planned to be, congratulations, and I hate you. No, I'm kidding!!  That really is wonderful because not many people receive that blessing!  For those of you in my shoes, you are not alone.

I once heard a beautiful analogy.  Let's say you planned for years a trip to Rome.  You learn Italian, plan on seeing the Vatican, Colosseum, Forum, and especially your restaurants, yum!  The plane lands and you are in Amsterdam.  Holy cow, you are not prepared for this...not that Amsterdam is bad it's just not what you had planned for.  You planned for years and dreamed of going to Rome so now you make the best of your trip of an amazing place and you discover the wonders of Amsterdam!  You discover this mistake was a blessing in disguise because it taught you something you didn't know about yourself, you can adapt, you are stronger than you thought, and you appreciate this wonderful new culture.  How many times have we had the old switcheroo on us?  Divorce, death, illness, a child with special needs, twins, mental illness, miscarriages, etc., we can't just give up, we adapt and if we can, we make the most of it.  Right now I'm in Amsterdam.  I've learned so much and I'm oh so thankful to my Heavenly Father for the change of course.  I have an amazing relationship with my nephews and nieces and I mentor them.  We have a bond that reaches to my soul.  Being the favorite aunt definitely has its advantages and I love it!  See, maybe I wasn't meant for motherhood?  Maybe I was meant for strictly aunt-hood.  I rock the heck out of it!!   I fought Him for a long time like that 3 year backseat driver (I still do sometimes) but I know I'm where I'm supposed to be  :)